tributes

Planning Ahead: Resources

By bringing death out in the open, by witnessing it, talking about it, learning about it, and trying in whatever way we can to accept it as an inevitable part of our lives, we can be better prepared, we can make better decisions when the time comes, and we can change the way we die [AND LIVE]– for ourselves and for our loved ones.                              -Talking About Death Won’t Kill You                               by Virginia Morris For this last post of our series Planning Ahead, we’ve gathered all the resources mentioned throughout into one list: Resources 1. Mourning Dove Studio website 2. Mourning Dove Studio Tribute Ideas 3. Post #1 April 21 – Introduction (structure it in) 4. Post #2 April 22 – Planning [link to read more…]

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Planning Ahead: insights from bereavement researchers and therapists

In the Boston area, Mourning Dove Studio started with me working directly with families. I wanted to be as competent as possible while helping them, so I began taking workshops and an annual weeklong seminar. Eventually I realized that some of the work being presented would be very helpful to know when planning ahead and in the immediate time after a death. The 5 Stages of Grief model from Elizabeth Kubler Ross is the classic work known by most people. Many presenters I’ve heard let us know that this model has come to be understood more like commandments, whereas they are merely one framework offering some understanding and guidance. It’s important to know that her model does not mean that grieving must happen in a linear fashion and to know that there are other models with useful perspectives to offer us.  The dual process model is well respected, for example. In future [link to read more…]

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Planning Ahead: introduction

We’re all just trying to get the laundry done, as my friend, Betsy, says. We know it’s important to plan ahead for things related to dying, death, funerals and wills, both for ourselves, our parents and others we have responsibility for.  But so many, many things of all sorts get in our way! We’ll change that – by Memorial Day!   We’re picking Memorial Day as the timeline for this process because the first big tip the experts tell us is to STRUCTURE IT IN.   That is, by linking taking action to a specific date, it’s much more likely to happen.  It’s crucial to do this planning for ourselves and others once, certainly.  What we are doing right now is getting our plans in place by using Memorial Day as a deadline.  Then, once your plan is made keep reviewing the plan on a “structured in” basis – by revisiting your [link to read more…]

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Showing Up to Remember

by Ruth Faas Memorial Day Weekend, 2012 The Wikipedia description of Memorial Day is interesting..  I hadn’t known, for example, that African-Americans in South Carolina held the first official Memorial Day in 1865 to honor fallen Union soldiers.   Reading this take on how the holiday has changed over the years (before and after that observance) brings to mind the shifting needs and uses that commemoration can have for us.Last year the half-sized replica of the Vietnam War Memorial came to Arlington, MA, for four days in April.  At the last minute I squeezed volunteering for it into my life.  The whole experience was moving in many ways.  Behind the scenes I could see how much people had done to make this happen, for example. I spent my shift helping people look in a guidebook to locate specific names on the Wall, since it’s arranged chronologically, not alphabetically. One woman [link to read more…]

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