Memorial Day

In 2011 the traveling version of the Vietnam War Memorial came to my town for 4 days.

I spent my shift helping people look in a guidebook to locate specific names on the Wall, since it’s arranged chronologically, not alphabetically. One woman came up to me to talk about how confusing and awful the time had been and how she regretted the harshness she had felt necessary as an anti-war protestor during that difficult time. I was slightly too young to remember much first-hand about that time, but I could relate. I have had some painful disagreements with my beloved brother, even in peace time. He was in the Army from 1985 until he retired, and he was deployed during the First Gulf War.

As this woman talked, an older man in uniform walked back and forth behind her, clearly listening. I couldn’t find a way to offer an opening to him to join us, but I hope that there was some solace in hearing that she was now planning to bring the Wall to her own town as a way to pay respect.

The evening was messy at some points. What it means to show respect was contested in several ways, such as when a conflict played out about whether a dog could be present. I always wish more grace and compassion for us all, just doing the best we can.

Here is what one man did. The Memorial requires that someone be present at all times, 24/7, while it’s in your town. I learned from a volunteer who was there for the Opening Ceremonies that his shift was not until the early morning hours. I commented on what a challenge this would be. It was cold already, very cold, and the sun hadn’t even set yet. He said quietly that he would keep this vigil because in Vietnam this was the time that it was his turn to keep watch.