Stories of personally meaningful ways that people have commemorated and grieved their loved ones or other losses.

I offer them here with the idea that hearing what others have done may inspire us and spark our own thoughts, reinforce our connections with each other, and be part of the process of mourning and healing.

If you would like to add your experience to these stories, they are welcome. Please send them through the Share Your Story form at the bottom of this website.

Things That Bereavement Researchers Tell Us:

Almost everything is normal when grieving. Get help if you are suicidal, homicidal or unable to function - J Shep Jeffreys
Everyone grieves differently. Be kind to yourself and to others as you consider what to do.
No New Shoulds - Don’t feel pressure to add anything else to any rituals that are meaningful to you. There’s already enough to do and feel, and you may find yourself with low energy.

Stories of Commemoration and Grieving

The Dinner Party

Several years ago, a woman told us this story of how she was able to honor her parents. The way I remember it was that they had either both received a terminal diagnosis or were quite sick. Since they had always been very social and held many meals and gatherings at their home, she remembered an art installation piece from the 1970’s by Judy Chicago called The Dinner Party. She drew inspiration from this, not directly copying the idea of using each place setting to commemorate a famous woman in history, but rather had each place setting focus on a different aspect of her parents’ lives, which she wished to honor.

Flannel Shirt Quilt

I saw an almost completed quilt made by a young woman who planned to give it to her grandmother in memory of her grandfather. He had worn flannel shirts almost exclusively, and now these shirts were transformed into this warm, lovely, comforting memorial. The outside binding was made up of the cuffs of the shirt sleeves, while the squares were cut from the shirt itself, with some of the squares including a shirt pocket.

Honoring Heritage

This wooden casket was painted to honor the Hungarian ancestry of the artist. The photo shows it as it might be laid out for a funeral at home. Meanwhile, she stores things inside it that she’d like to give to her daughter and has added a red cushion on top so that it can be used as a bench until needed.